Red Sonja

Year: 1985
Directed By: Richard Fleischer
Written By: Robert E How.ard (character), Clive Exton and George MacDonald Fraser (screenplay)

RYAN’S REVIEW

Right now I am actually sitting down to this movie for the first time since it made its way into the collection. It is a somewhat newer purchase and I ordered it on Amazon for nostalgic reasons. I remember this movie when I was a little kid in love with the movie Willow. At that young prepubescent age I was moved nevertheless by the bold beauty of Brigitte Nielsen with the fiery red hair of Red Sonya. Not just that, but when I was five I thought anything involving swords was awesome.

I remember this movie coming on TV when I was really young and my mom let me watch it. I remember her telling me about how Brigitte Nielsen was married to Sylvester Stallone. She would talk about Stallone and Schwarzenegger when this movie was on and it left an impression on me that made a difference later on.

I’m seeing Brigitte Nielsen now for the first time as Red Sonya, fighting and defeating an Asian sparring partner. She is such a powerful looking woman, so tall and intimidating. Beautiful in a way that befits a warrior princess of sorts. She may not have been the type of actress that was ever going to win awards but her casting as Red Sonja is on par with Dolph Lundgren as He-Man in Masters of the Universe

I was under the impression Schwarzenegger was merely in this movie as a Conan cameo but I see now that I was wrong about that. I really didn’t remember this movie well when I indulged myself with an impulsive internet purchase. I find it odd that this is the movie Schwarzenegger chose to take on following The Terminator. Had it not been for his role in Commando he could have so easily been typecast into that Conan type role which would have went nowhere as the 80s progressed.

The young Asian actor in this movie is none other than Ernie Reyes Jr. That’s right, this little prince of whatever is actually Keno from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: Secret of the Ooze. Which was not a good movie, but when it came out I was at the age that qualified it as the greatest movie ever. In 1991 I was 7, I thought Secret of the Ooze was one of the coolest new movies I had seen, except for Hook maybe.

The sets in this movie are interesting. Yeah they are cheesy but at least they are real. In the scene where the bad guys are in a room full of lit candles for example. That’s the kind of thing that can be done digitally now but back in 85 some poor person had to painstakingly light all those candles because in the 80s they had to actually make the sets. I’m not suggesting that what they did in this movie was great or anything, just pointing out the merit in actually putting in the work.

OK full disclosure, as hard as it will be to believe, I fell asleep watching this last night. It’s now the following morning and I don’t know how the movie ends. Sad to admit it, but I’m actually OK with that. It’s a sad thing to admit I watched a movie I own and not only don’t know how it ends but have no interest in actually finding out. That being said I don’t think I can tell you this movie is worth your time as I won’t bother giving up anymore of mine.

Last thing worth mentioning is the long standing efforts to do a reboot to this film. At one time Robert Rodriguez was attached with Rose McGowan set to go fiery red and swing the sword. Too bad it didn’t get done because I think McGowan is awesome and Rodriguez no doubt would have made a cool movie.

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NEXT MOVIE: Reign of Fire (2002)

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