George R.R. Martin’s Song of Anticipation and Disappointment

11/28/17

This is not for virgin eyes, if you are opposed to the fuck word or any other form of profanity then get the fuck out because I’m too pissed to be polite. 

I have been patient, I have been loyal, but now I am flat out flabbergasted….

For six goddamn years I have waited! I have read the first five books of The Song of Fire and Ice at least six times over those six years so the story would be fresh on my mind when the sixth book came out (what a foolish notion that has turned into). I even read that motherfucking history book about the seven kingdoms more than once and it read like a fucking textbook. With each re-reading my anticipation grew and my love for the narrative deepened.

I quit watching the show for good in season four and loudly hated on it as a watered down version of something better. I would wait for the next book and not get spoilers out of that sub par version. I would wait patiently for the countless mysteries put forth to be explained in true fashion and avoid finding out anything from the convoluted story that fit into HBO’s budget.

Some time ago, the show bypassed the books and started telling stories that should have remained secret. I have avoided the spoilers on the internet. Do you have any fucking clue how hard it is to avoid Game of Thrones spoilers on the fucking internet? How diligent and disciplined you have to be to sit and wait while the answers are practically screaming at you through your computer screen? It’s a fucking nightmare, with every new season of the show comes months of filtering through my internet feed to avoid what I don’t want to know.

I hear from everybody how great the show is but I hear the same thing about The Walking Dead and all those Dead Heads are wrong too. The written material is twice as good as anything put on screen and I won’t lower myself to the level of watching it. I am a reader and I take pride in it. Reading is more fulfilling and too many people are simply too lazy. I quit watching in season 4 because the story didn’t even make sense anymore. So much had been changed and cut out I didn’t understand how a non reader could even follow it.

So, I have sat and waited. I have bided my time and maintained discipline. I believed I would eventually be rewarded for all my waiting. I have waited since 2011, six years and counting. Everybody tried to tell me what I was missing out on but I tuned them out and I waited, like the good fan that I am, for the actual vision of the creator, Mr. George R.R. Martin, to become available when The Winds of Winter is published.

During this time of waiting I began to google a possible release date. For over two years I have searched Google every single day looking for an answer to when The Winds of Winter might be released. Just a casual search fit somewhere into my daily routine just in case news dropped. With each passing day, month, year it has always been the same… “maybe this year.” Well today ladies and gentlemen I got an actual answer to that search. After two years of waiting, searching, and getting nothing I finally saw an answer today.

July 2019….July 20 fucking 19!!!!!!!!! Here I was thinking the book could drop at any time and not only is it not coming out soon but it isn’t even reasonably close. That’s eight fucking years between books and there is still another to follow after that!

I don’t even know if I’ll be alive in July 2019! Will George R.R. Martin still be alive in July 2019??? Will you be alive in July 2019? That’s so far in the future who the fuck knows what will happen??? Stephen King will probably publish ten books within that time frame and a couple of them will match in length.

I am beside myself with disappointment, frustration, and more than anything absolute anger. Absolute anger doesn’t even cover it. I’m enraged as I imagine many of the other true fans are too. I don’t want to see all the floppy dicks on HBO to find out what happens to Jon Snow. Delightful as they are I don’t care to see Emilia Clarke’s tits over and over again to find out if Dany ever comes back to Westeros. I don’t want to see all the shortcuts and rewrites of something I love just to find out what happens next! I don’t want to stare blindly into my television at something that isn’t the way it is supposed to be but instead overcompensates with violence and sexuality.

This is something I have kept pure in my obsession with stories. I am not opposed to spoilers for generally everything else but Game of Thrones was something I wanted to find out for myself in a personal and private manner. I’ll never forget how it felt to read the Red Wedding for the first time. That shock and dismay that I thought I’d never move past only to find out that the excitement was just beginning.

I can’t get that feeling out of the show, it’s ruined for me by my intimate knowledge of the material having read these books so many times. All I can see when I watch the show is what’s wrong, and there is so much that is just wrong. I want the next book! How the fuck is it not going to be finished until 2019??? Eight years George R.R. Martin? You leave us with the Varys cliffhanger and then make us wait eight years to find out what follows?

That’s bullshit and I have had enough. All my patience and all my discipline have been for naught. I could just as well google the answer to every question I have now and know in seconds what they did on the show but it’ll never live up to what I’ve been waiting for. It won’t be as rich and as in depth as what I will find in the books but after six fucking years of patience I am fucking through.

You have shit on all of us George R.R. Martin! I will not wait another two years to find out what you have in mind because you don’t deserve me as a fan. I have argued on your behalf at great length with fervor but you have fucked me. I feel like an idiot right now because I had faith that you would finish the fucking book and prove all these amateurs to be nothing more than that.

Sorry fans of the show, I know you outnumber me dramatically, but I’ve seen beneath something that you’ve only seen the surface of. I know the story and characters inside and out in ways you can never understand. I have stood above you with a sense of pride as if I was somehow better having read the books but those books have now made a fool out of me. I’m not better, I’m not even in the know now thanks to HBO, George R.R. Martin, and my stubborn decision to stay loyal to the source.

Well that’s all over. I will not wait another two years for what may or may not ever happen. Hope George R.R. Martin is happy. I imagine that fat bastard swimming around a pool full of money like Scrooge McDuck and laughing at me. Sipping Mai Tais, making it rain, and not writing a fucking word.  I hear he gets touchy when asked if he will live long enough to finish the books. What’s really bothering him is if he will live long enough to spend all that cash that he has. Lazy fucking bastard that creates something awesome and sells it away before it is truly finished.

I’m throwing in the towel, giving up, and scrapping the last six years of waiting. Amber and I will soon be tuning in for the boobs and blood. Maybe I’ll forget all the reading and be mesmerized by the shock value the show whores out to people. People don’t want to take the time to read something magnificent, they just want to see the bloody highlights.

George R.R. Martin sold out a long time ago and I was too much of a fool to see the writing on the wall. Everybody told me so but I stubbornly resisted the notion. These amateurs couldn’t possibly be right about anything with all the garbage they’re swallowing with their eyes. Well, jokes on me! I don’t know now if the book is ever actually coming out but I know one thing for sure. I’m not waiting another two fucking years for it.

I guess what this all amounts to is eating crow. I was wrong, and as painful as it is to admit that, I’m here to admit my mistake. You motherfucking amateurs are right and I am nothing more than a foolish know it all who believed in something better. I may never believe in anything again because such a things proves time and time again to be foolhardy.

Thanks George R.R. Martin, you’ve robbed me not only of my time but of my ability to believe! I will wade into the water with the rest of the masses and drown myself in the watered down Game of Thrones. What sucks the most is that motherfucker will still get his in the end because by breaking and watching the show I am just lining his pocket more.

Final Thought: There is a small part of me that wants to cling to the hope that this is simply not true. A smoke screen. Disinformation so that the publication of the book carries the same shock value as the content. Sadly I think I might as easily wish on a star and expect to be taller tomorrow. It’ll be a while before I can start binging the show anyway….maybe Christmas miracles do happen. However, if it doesn’t happen I’m not waiting around until 2019. Brace yourself folks, I’m about to become a hypocrite.

 

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