George R.R. Martin

George R.R. Martin’s Song of Anticipation and Disappointment

11/28/17

This is not for virgin eyes, if you are opposed to the fuck word or any other form of profanity then get the fuck out because I’m too pissed to be polite. 

I have been patient, I have been loyal, but now I am flat out flabbergasted….

For six goddamn years I have waited! I have read the first five books of The Song of Fire and Ice at least six times over those six years so the story would be fresh on my mind when the sixth book came out (what a foolish notion that has turned into). I even read that motherfucking history book about the seven kingdoms more than once and it read like a fucking textbook. With each re-reading my anticipation grew and my love for the narrative deepened.

I quit watching the show for good in season four and loudly hated on it as a watered down version of something better. I would wait for the next book and not get spoilers out of that sub par version. I would wait patiently for the countless mysteries put forth to be explained in true fashion and avoid finding out anything from the convoluted story that fit into HBO’s budget.

Some time ago, the show bypassed the books and started telling stories that should have remained secret. I have avoided the spoilers on the internet. Do you have any fucking clue how hard it is to avoid Game of Thrones spoilers on the fucking internet? How diligent and disciplined you have to be to sit and wait while the answers are practically screaming at you through your computer screen? It’s a fucking nightmare, with every new season of the show comes months of filtering through my internet feed to avoid what I don’t want to know.

I hear from everybody how great the show is but I hear the same thing about The Walking Dead and all those Dead Heads are wrong too. The written material is twice as good as anything put on screen and I won’t lower myself to the level of watching it. I am a reader and I take pride in it. Reading is more fulfilling and too many people are simply too lazy. I quit watching in season 4 because the story didn’t even make sense anymore. So much had been changed and cut out I didn’t understand how a non reader could even follow it.

So, I have sat and waited. I have bided my time and maintained discipline. I believed I would eventually be rewarded for all my waiting. I have waited since 2011, six years and counting. Everybody tried to tell me what I was missing out on but I tuned them out and I waited, like the good fan that I am, for the actual vision of the creator, Mr. George R.R. Martin, to become available when The Winds of Winter is published.

During this time of waiting I began to google a possible release date. For over two years I have searched Google every single day looking for an answer to when The Winds of Winter might be released. Just a casual search fit somewhere into my daily routine just in case news dropped. With each passing day, month, year it has always been the same… “maybe this year.” Well today ladies and gentlemen I got an actual answer to that search. After two years of waiting, searching, and getting nothing I finally saw an answer today.

July 2019….July 20 fucking 19!!!!!!!!! Here I was thinking the book could drop at any time and not only is it not coming out soon but it isn’t even reasonably close. That’s eight fucking years between books and there is still another to follow after that!

I don’t even know if I’ll be alive in July 2019! Will George R.R. Martin still be alive in July 2019??? Will you be alive in July 2019? That’s so far in the future who the fuck knows what will happen??? Stephen King will probably publish ten books within that time frame and a couple of them will match in length.

I am beside myself with disappointment, frustration, and more than anything absolute anger. Absolute anger doesn’t even cover it. I’m enraged as I imagine many of the other true fans are too. I don’t want to see all the floppy dicks on HBO to find out what happens to Jon Snow. Delightful as they are I don’t care to see Emilia Clarke’s tits over and over again to find out if Dany ever comes back to Westeros. I don’t want to see all the shortcuts and rewrites of something I love just to find out what happens next! I don’t want to stare blindly into my television at something that isn’t the way it is supposed to be but instead overcompensates with violence and sexuality.

This is something I have kept pure in my obsession with stories. I am not opposed to spoilers for generally everything else but Game of Thrones was something I wanted to find out for myself in a personal and private manner. I’ll never forget how it felt to read the Red Wedding for the first time. That shock and dismay that I thought I’d never move past only to find out that the excitement was just beginning.

I can’t get that feeling out of the show, it’s ruined for me by my intimate knowledge of the material having read these books so many times. All I can see when I watch the show is what’s wrong, and there is so much that is just wrong. I want the next book! How the fuck is it not going to be finished until 2019??? Eight years George R.R. Martin? You leave us with the Varys cliffhanger and then make us wait eight years to find out what follows?

That’s bullshit and I have had enough. All my patience and all my discipline have been for naught. I could just as well google the answer to every question I have now and know in seconds what they did on the show but it’ll never live up to what I’ve been waiting for. It won’t be as rich and as in depth as what I will find in the books but after six fucking years of patience I am fucking through.

You have shit on all of us George R.R. Martin! I will not wait another two years to find out what you have in mind because you don’t deserve me as a fan. I have argued on your behalf at great length with fervor but you have fucked me. I feel like an idiot right now because I had faith that you would finish the fucking book and prove all these amateurs to be nothing more than that.

Sorry fans of the show, I know you outnumber me dramatically, but I’ve seen beneath something that you’ve only seen the surface of. I know the story and characters inside and out in ways you can never understand. I have stood above you with a sense of pride as if I was somehow better having read the books but those books have now made a fool out of me. I’m not better, I’m not even in the know now thanks to HBO, George R.R. Martin, and my stubborn decision to stay loyal to the source.

Well that’s all over. I will not wait another two years for what may or may not ever happen. Hope George R.R. Martin is happy. I imagine that fat bastard swimming around a pool full of money like Scrooge McDuck and laughing at me. Sipping Mai Tais, making it rain, and not writing a fucking word.  I hear he gets touchy when asked if he will live long enough to finish the books. What’s really bothering him is if he will live long enough to spend all that cash that he has. Lazy fucking bastard that creates something awesome and sells it away before it is truly finished.

I’m throwing in the towel, giving up, and scrapping the last six years of waiting. Amber and I will soon be tuning in for the boobs and blood. Maybe I’ll forget all the reading and be mesmerized by the shock value the show whores out to people. People don’t want to take the time to read something magnificent, they just want to see the bloody highlights.

George R.R. Martin sold out a long time ago and I was too much of a fool to see the writing on the wall. Everybody told me so but I stubbornly resisted the notion. These amateurs couldn’t possibly be right about anything with all the garbage they’re swallowing with their eyes. Well, jokes on me! I don’t know now if the book is ever actually coming out but I know one thing for sure. I’m not waiting another two fucking years for it.

I guess what this all amounts to is eating crow. I was wrong, and as painful as it is to admit that, I’m here to admit my mistake. You motherfucking amateurs are right and I am nothing more than a foolish know it all who believed in something better. I may never believe in anything again because such a things proves time and time again to be foolhardy.

Thanks George R.R. Martin, you’ve robbed me not only of my time but of my ability to believe! I will wade into the water with the rest of the masses and drown myself in the watered down Game of Thrones. What sucks the most is that motherfucker will still get his in the end because by breaking and watching the show I am just lining his pocket more.

Final Thought: There is a small part of me that wants to cling to the hope that this is simply not true. A smoke screen. Disinformation so that the publication of the book carries the same shock value as the content. Sadly I think I might as easily wish on a star and expect to be taller tomorrow. It’ll be a while before I can start binging the show anyway….maybe Christmas miracles do happen. However, if it doesn’t happen I’m not waiting around until 2019. Brace yourself folks, I’m about to become a hypocrite.

 

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Braveheart

Year: 1995
Directed By: Mel Gibson
Written By: Randall Wallace

RYAN’S REVIEW

This was the first epic movie I fell in love with.  Like all boys I had a fascination with sword fighting, battles, and the medieval era.  There were other movies that captured these qualities before but in 1995 Braveheart was the biggest and the best of its genre. I still love the genre but Braveheart has been replaced as my favorite time and time again.  In 2000 Gladiator replaced it, followed almost immediately by The Lord of the Rings trilogy from 2001-03, and now in 2011 I have yet a new favorite again.  HBO’s Game of Thrones is now my favorite epic medieval story.  While only a TV series, it has easily beaten out all the others and if you have not seen it I suggest you call your cable company, add HBO, and get caught up before season 2 starts. Better yet go to your closest book store and buy the book, I will come back to Game of Thrones later.

To be perfectly honest Braveheart isn’t a movie that I’m really interested in at all anymore.  It is a fantastic movie but now I feel like I have outgrown it.  This most likely stems from either watching this movie too many times or maybe because it’s so hard these days to imagine that I ever liked Mel Gibson.  He was a great filmmakers and actor but talk about a far fall from grace.  A lot of the stars from that time have gotten a little crazy as they got older.  Mel Gibson isn’t alone, he has Charlie Sheen making an ass of himself as well, and even Nicolas Cage is acting crazy from time to time.  There are many movies I find it impossible to watch too many times so I doubt that is the problem with this one.  I think that a truly special movie is one that you like more each time you watch it.

This movie offers intense action, captivating drama, love and romance, and best of all, revenge.  Being the closet dork that I am I went beyond the film with Braveheart and also read the book by Randall Wallace when I was a kid.  The book is simply a novelization of the film and while this film is historically based you have to take it with a grain of salt. I have said it before and I will say it again, there are no historically accurate major motion pictures and this one is way off from what I understand.  That doesn’t really matter though does it? Braveheart is badass through and through with incredibly violent and satisfying battles scenes full of blood and gore.  There is nudity too, although Sophie Marceau disappoints us there. Catherine McCormick didn’t let us down though.

Mel Gibson was great both behind the camera and swinging a variety of lethal medieval weapons on the other side of it.  If I remember correctly he accepted two Oscars for this film for Best Direction and Best Picture.  He was on top of the world when this film came out and rode that success for a long time.  I will admit that I was a big fan for a long time and I can still enjoy some of his movies but I cannot stand a bigot.   He made a couple of decent movies after this but as far as his acting goes he peaked with this movie and has yet to make anything else at its level.  Brendan Gleeson has a big part in the film as William Wallace’s childhood friend Hamish.  I am not a fan of Gleeson’s, and he has to be one of those guys that pops up everywhere.  I cannot deny that he is great in this film though, he has a natural place in movies like this.  It could be argued that this was his best film but one must consider Gangs of New York, and several others that I’m sure would come to mind if I gave it more thought.  Patrick McGoohan is fantastic as Edward the Longshanks, sinister and evil to the core. He has such an important part in this film because the villain can make these movies just as much as the hero can.  The villain must inspire fear and anger to make you love the hero more, it is a challenging part to play.  This movie does coincidentally have a connection to Game of Thrones as James Cosmo plays a part in both, in this film as Hamish’s father and in the HBO series as Lord Commander Jeor Mormont.  What’s really amazing is that he manages to look younger 16 years later.

One of the reasons I love doing this blog is because it gives me a reason to watch some of my movies like this one that I probably wouldn’t watch again otherwise.  I own a lot of movies that I don’t watch anymore but have because they meant something to me at one time in my life.  I might not love this movie like I used to but that doesn’t mean it isn’t a great movie and that it isn’t worth your time.  This is a long movie at just shy of three hours but that’s nothing for an epic.  This movie may be a mini epic, but it still fits the bill.  This was considered the best movie of 1995 at the Academy Awards and for good reason, I hope you give it a chance yourself and enjoy it.

Now to venture off topic for a moment and discuss the HBO series Game of Thrones.  A while back Amber and I decided that we were so satisfied with our HBO TV shows that we would give any new series a chance.  When Game of Thrones  was being advertised I was obviously really excited but Amber was reluctant. She said she would give it one episode.  We are now currently both about half way through the FIFTH book in the Game of Thrones series, A Song of Fire and Ice by George R. R. Martin.  To put it to you this way, we have read somewhere in the neighborhood of 4,000 pages of this story collectively.  We wouldn’t give that much time to anything if it wasn’t worth it and I hope to encourage you to give it a chance.  Martin has written a really powerful story that is out of control awesome all the time.  I am amazed how daring he is, he has created many incredible and interesting characters, and he will kill any one of them at any time without hesitation.  However it seems that for every great character he kills he creates at least five more interesting characters in their place. HBO has invested a lot of capital into this series and it is the production that makes or breaks this kind of story. Costumes, locations, sets, casting, and all the little things that so many of us know nothing about.  Both Braveheart and Game of Thrones have great production work, but I wouldn’t be writing about them if they didn’t.  I cannot truly tell you how awesome Game of Thrones is, it’s something that you will have to find out for yourself, and I hope that I have encouraged you to do so.

One final note about Braveheart too, I didn’t mention it but there was actually some controversy surrounding the film when it came out. There was some question as to whether or not horses were killed on set during the first battle scene when the Scots dramatically raise spears at the last moment in defense against the charging English Calvary.  I think this was an easy thing for Mel “I’m on top of the world” Gibson to get out of  in 1995 but 16 years later we all know how crazy the man really is, and you just have to wonder….. Watching it now I’m wondering if those actually were real horses, it looks pretty damn real.  I bet psycho Mel Gibson actually killed many horses when making this movie.

AMBER’S REVIEW

I was actually feeling bad that I had nothing to say about this movie. I don’t really like it. I know that is a crazy thing to say when so many people like it, but I hate it. But, after seeing the novel that Ryan wrote in review of this film, I am going to leave it at that. I don’t like this movie.

NEXT MOVIE: Burn After Reading (2008)