Vanessa Angel

Weird Science

Year: 1985
Directed By: John Hughes
Written By: John Hughes

RYAN’S REVIEW

One of my favorite things to do over the past ten years was stroll around the movie sections of stores and find older movies that I just had to have in our collection.  I have always been a specific shopper when it comes to this, I don’t buy just anything I buy the movies that were significant in one way or another.  Either they were significant to me personally or they were just a great movie that was worth owning.  These days when I stroll through the movie aisles in stores I only find myself walking away disappointed.  First of all, the sections stores reserve for movies are shrinking at a regular rate as demand for DVDs and even Blu-rays are dropping all the time.  Secondly, it’s just such a challenge these days to even find a movie I want.  At this point I own nearly every movie I ever loved and all the new releases are much too expensive to purchase when they are first released and for several months after.  I’m saying all this to simply explain how this movie came into my possession. I was reaching, that’s all it really amounts to.  I just really wanted to buy a movie and remembered this one well enough to pick it up for a cheap price.  To say it simply, this was a swing and a miss.  I bought this movie and it’s mine now but if I could go back in time I would simply keep my five bucks, this was not even close to worth that.

When I first saw this movie I was in high school and I think that is why I remembered it fondly.  The idea of creating a woman that will look incredible and do anything and everything you want is an idea that appeals to any teenage boy whether you have succeeded in getting any or not.  Does anything matter more to a teenage boy than trying to score with a chick? It’s something that dominates the mind of us of all through that rough stretch of adolescents where it seems like something that is all but impossible to achieve.  I watched this movie then and thought it was awesome and also watched the TV show with the smoking hot Vanessa Angel and thought that was awesome too.  Having had an opportunity to revisit this movie now, all I can say is that my thoughts and feelings about the film were far too influenced by the raging and uncontrollable hormones that hit young men in their mid to late teens.

I wasted a night of my life watching this movie again and I will never get that time back.  I feel compelled to apologize to my wife for making her sit through the beginning, even though she slept through most of it.  This movie is not good; it’s not even on a level below good.  It’s stupid, plain and simple.  The movie doesn’t even seem to have any direction as it progresses.  It goes from bad to pointless to simply being a complete and utter waste of time. Of course it is harder to watch a movie like this today given that we know computers don’t have the capability of creating supermodel looking women or anything animate at all for that matter.  The thoughts and feelings of these teenage boys and the problems they have may be timeless and something any generation can relate to but that isn’t enough.  This is a ridiculous movie and there is nothing in it that can make it worth any of your time.

John Hughes made many great movies throughout his career but this was not one of them.  It is funny to see a really young Robert Downey Jr. in the film with a crazy hair style that can only belong to the 80s but you can just Google a picture of that and save yourself some time.  Anthony Michael Hall is one of our main characters again doing another movie with his biggest supporter in Hughes.  Kelly LeBrock looks great but having spent a lot of time growing up watching Vanessa Angel play the same role I don’t think much of LeBrock. Bill Paxton is only worth mentioning because he is turned into a giant pile of shit but this is probably a movie he doesn’t include in his resumé.

So let me do you a favor and spare you the time you yourself could waste on this movie, it’s not worth it.  I am literally feeling a lot of guilt because I talked my wife into watching it with me.  In any marriage you can’t afford for things to go this wrong when you persuade your spouse to do something they aren’t really interested in.  All it does is give all the leverage to them and make it harder the next time you try to talk them into something later on down the road.  Damn you Weird Science! My wife will win the next argument over what movie we will watch and it’s all because I was stupid enough to think there was something to this one.  Cool song, but nothing else to speak of with this one.

Kingpin

Year: 1996
Directed By: Peter and Bobby Farrelly
Written By: Barry Fanaro and Mort Nathan

RYAN’S REVIEW

I’ve always felt there was a golden time for the comedies made by the Farrelly brothers and it was during the mid to late nineties around the time this one came out.  They had so many ridiculous but hilarious movies during that stretch.  This movie was their follow up to Dumb and Dumber and it preceded There’s Something About Mary.  The three of these movies are all crude and a bit silly but I think they were the best that these two brothers have made.  I have always been a fan of Me, Myself, and Irene as well but the sun was setting then on the type of comedy these guys make. In truth this isn’t my favorite of their films but I always find myself laughing and I tend to like it more and more each time I watch it.

This movie really isn’t all that different from Dumb and Dumber when you look at it on the surface. It’s about two idiots driving across country to get to a bowling tournament.  I think Woody Harrelson is awesome and he is one of my favorite actors but I don’t think he is really great in this movie.  I think Harrelson is better than playing such a crude and pathetic character.  I don’t find him funny so much in this one as I do desperate and desolate.  However Randy Quaid plays the Amish guy trying to adapt to the real world and I do think he is pretty funny in this movie.  I have never liked the ugly Quaid brother and have continuously found myself wondering how he managed to get so many roles over the years.  Of course he isn’t getting any now because he is in some sort of strange trouble of late.  I have paid little attention to whatever predicament he is in right now but everything I have heard has been weirder and weirder. He and his wife got themselves in some kind of legal trouble and are currently living in Canada with arrest waiting for them should they re-enter the United States.  Also peppered in the story is paranoia coming from Quaid and his wife claiming they fear for their lives from some sort of actor killing conspiracy.  It’s all rather weird and I don’t know what to make of it myself.

The funniest role in this movie has to go to one of the funniest men to ever grace the screen, Bill Murray.  Murray is just so deftly funny when allowed to do as he pleases and that is what he was allowed to do in this movie.  When filming the movie Murray would glance over the script to get a gist of what was going on and then simply winged it when the camera started rolling.  Nearly all his lines in the movie were improvised and that is where a comedian like Murray is at his best. I love the crazy hair he has in the end of the movie, it only adds to the humor of his character.  There is only one other role from this film that really matters and it’s that of Vanessa Angel.  She never really quite made it as a successful actress but geez what a smoking hot woman. She is merely sex appeal in this movie and she does a great job of looking really sexy.  When I was a young teenager I would often watch her on the television show Weird Scienceand I really liked seeing her in this film.

If you are a big fan of bowling, and/or crude and pervasive sexual comedy then this is the movie for you.  I think it’s really funny and I specifically think there are a few noteworthy performances that make it worth your time.  If you’re Amish, I’d steer clear but otherwise take the R rating into consideration when thinking about this one.  All in all though I would say that it is worth your time. Nothing significant here, just plain old dirty and perverted fun.

AMBER’S REVIEW

I absolutely do NOT care what anyone says about this movie, I love it. I think you can’t go wrong when a movie has both Woody and Bill. (Do I really need to say their last names?) This movie is funny. It makes no sense, really in the scheme of things, but even still it is a really funny movie. I have loved it for as long as I can remember.

kingpin

I can’t take this seriously. I mean [in my best Amy Poehler voice] really? The chick is bending over and it’s not even proportional  Ok I don’t even care. You guys, I love this movie and this poster is crazy ridiculously BAD, but I just don’t care. I love this stupid movie.

NEXT MOVIE: Knight and Day (2010)